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Funny Zoo Puns

 

 

 

 

 

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Yesterday I went to a zoo that only has one dog in the entire zoo.

It was a shit-zhu

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I met the love of my life when I visited the zoo. She was standing by the giraffe enclosure wearing her uniform.

Straight away I knew she was a keeper.

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What is the best key to open up a zoo with?

A monkey.

 

 

 

What did the male rhino say to the female rhino?

Rhino someone who really likes you.

 

 

 

I visited the zoo the other day and I saw a loaf of sourdough in a cage.

I read the sign below and it said "bread in captivity".

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What do lions get for their lunch at the zoo?

Half an hour, the same as the elephants.

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What do you call an alligator that has a magnifying glass and wears a vest?

An investigator.

 

 

 

Why should you never play games around the wild cat enclosure at the zoo?

There are too many cheetahs.

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The San Diego zoo just had a new lion added to the enclosure.

His name is roary.

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What did the lion say to the zoo keeper that shaved its body bald but kept the mane?

.. Aww mane, no fur!

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A whole lot of animals escaped from the aquarium section at the zoo.

Apparently it was otter disorder.

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The strangest job that you can have at a zoo is cleaning up the faeces from the bottom of the monkey cage.

That shit really is bananas.

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Why couldn't the koala get a position at the zoo?

He didn't have enough koalafications.

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What did the owl say to his wife?

Doing anything tonight? Owl take you out if you aren't busy.

 

 

 

What did the female zookeeper wear when she went swimming?

A zoo-kini.

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Did you hear that Postman Pat was fired from his weekend job at the zoo?

He wouldn't address the elephant in the room.

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Last week a zookeeper left the gate open to the Panda enclosure and they all escaped.

It was complete Pandamonium.

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All testing has ceased at the wildcat enclosure.

There were far too many cheetahs.

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Why does the zoo always give the lions cage the best position?

It is always the mane attraction.

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What do the crocodiles always sing when they see a picture of Freddie Mercury?

We will croc you.

 

 

 

Our local zoo has started a recycling initiate to raise money for a worthy cause.

When you visit the zoo, bring in one can to save the toucan.

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A local park ranger tried to start a zoo featuring only flightless birds.

Unfortunately for him the business never really took off.

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A zoo visitor called the police last week reporting indecent exposure.

Turns out it was just a bear bum that they saw.

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I visited the zoo in the weekend and when I got there I immediately ran to the sealife enclosure only to find that my favourite animal was no longer there.

It was an otter disappointment.

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Our zoo now has an area where you may pet cattle.

It is close encounters of the herd kind.

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Took my kid to the zoo today, all of a sudden he yelled out "dad a frickin elephant there!"

We started getting strange looks from other zoo visitors so I said to my kid, "why did you say that?"

He replied "I am just reading what is on the sign". I looked at the sign and sure enough it read AFRICAN ELEPHANT.

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I went to the zoo and saw a huge rainbow over the lion enclosure.

I thought to myself, ah, it must be gay pride week.

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They have a huge bear at my zoo and it has no teeth.

It is the biggest gummy bear I have ever seen.

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What did the male giraffe say to the female giraffe when it was mating season?

You are giraffing me crazy!

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