satire
A recent study from the National Institute of Farting has found that the average person farts 14 times a day. That’s right, folks, 14 times! And while most of these farts go unnoticed, there are certain situations where a fart can become… well, explosive.
Take the case of Bob Johnson, a 45-year-old accountant from Cleveland who found himself in a predicament last week. Bob was on his way up to his office on the 20th floor of a skyscraper when he felt a sudden urge to fart. Now, being the polite gentleman that he is, Bob tried to hold it in. But alas, it was too late. The fart had escaped.
Unfortunately for Bob, he wasn’t alone in the elevator. There were 5 other people in there with him, including his boss, 3 coworkers, and the CEO of the company. The smell hit them all at once, like a punch to the face.
The CEO, being the quick thinker that he is, immediately hit the emergency stop button. “We’re not moving until whoever did that owns up to it!” he declared.
Silence. No one wanted to admit to the fart. They all just stood there, staring at each other, trying to avoid breathing.
Finally, Bob the accountant spoke up. “I’m sorry, it was me. I had beans for breakfast.”
The CEO was taken aback. “You mean to tell me that a single bean can produce that kind of odor?”
Bob nodded sheepishly.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” said the CEO. “I had no idea beans were so powerful.”
In the end, the elevator was stuck for over an hour while they aired it out. Bob was mortified that he had caused such a stink, but he learned a valuable lesson that day: never trust a fart in an elevator.
As for Bob, he was given a promotion for having the courage to own up to his fart. He's now the head of the bean procurement department.
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