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Midget Jokes And Short People Jokes!

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What Is A Midget Joke?

A Midget joke is an un-PC joke that roasts a short person because of their height. Midget is actually an offensive word to short people and they prefer to be referred to as "little people". Here are some examples of midget jokes and roasts for short people.

Midget And Short People Jokes

Short people and midget jokes... Slightly cruel? yes. Extremely funny? Also yes.

What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?

Very little.

Why are midgets constantly thirsty?

They can't reach the drinking fountains.

I saw my midget neighbour at a bus stop

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home" I said.

"Bugger off" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man" I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

My dad was a midget but I still could never beat him in a running race.

No matter how fast I ran, he was always a little father ahead.

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

Did you realise that dwarfism is a growing problem around the world?

Did you realise that 6 outta 7 dwarves are not happy?

Why are midgets so good at picking up girls?

They are amazing at small talk.

Did you hear the story about the midget who was climbing down the prison wall?

It is a little con descending.

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?

A microwave.

I met a midget once, my conversation with her was extremely awkward.

I am not very good when it comes to small talk.

A midget heads to a job interview. He humbly describes all of the advantages of his height pertaining to the job.

The interviewer could see that he really was selling himself short.

Where do midgets like to go surfing?

On microwaves.

Why did the midget have to quit his job at the butchers?

The steaks were too high.

What did the nurse say to the midget in the hospital waiting room?

You are just going to have to be a little patient.

Why did the midget get fired from his job at the restaurant?

The authorities found out he was being paid under the table.

Do you know what the midget said when I asked him to lend me 10 bucks?

I'm a little short.

A psychic midget medium escapes from jail.

Small medium at large.

Why did the dwarf get slapped by the lady?

He told her "I love the smell of your hair".

Always, and I mean always listen to a midgets opinion.

They always know what is up.

My neighbor is an epeleptic midget who really loves pizza.

Everyday he has little seizures.

I have a lot of respect for the midgets in my community.

I feel it would be really wrong to look down on them.

What do you call a midgets mother?

Minimum.

I had to wait a really long time for my food at the midget restaurant.

I am guessing it was because they were short staffed.

Did you hear about the hot headed midget?

He had a short temper.

What do you call a midget pigeon?

A smidgen.

Why do you often see midgets laughing as they run when playing football?

The grass tickles their balls.

What dairy product do you get from a midget cow?

Condensed milk.

What is the definition of frustration?

A midget with a yoyo.

What do you call a midget with 3 legs?

Excited to see you.

What do you call 55 midgets at a dwarf convention?

A little get together.

What talking robot movie do all midgets love?

Short circuit.

Why don't midgets need a concrete wall to play handball?

They are able to just use the curb.

Did you hear about the midget that smoked a bunch of weed?

He was finally able to hold his head up high.

Did you hear about the midget model?

He made his money posing for trophies.

What do you call a chubby midget?

Low fat

Did you hear about the midget that overdosed on viagra?

He is a little stiff now.

I know a joke about a midget, it is short and funny.

I got told off today for making a joke about a midget.

It was over something small though.

Make the little things in life count, teach a midget mathematics.

I used to date a midget woman. I was nuts over her.

Recent studies have confirmed, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.

Why is a Mexican midget called a paragraph?

Because he is too short to be an ese.

A midget stumbles out of the bar.

She was a little drunk.

Did you hear about the Mexican midget?

He was a little juan.

Why do midgets love smoking weed.

They finally can get high.

A dwarf stole all all of my anti depressants today.

Well, I hope he is happy.

What do you call a Mexican midget?

Minimum wage.

How do you pay him?

Under the table.

What do you call a midget from Mexico?

A minican.

I met a midget the other day and asked him "what is it like being a dwarf?"

He replied "I'm not happy"

I then said to him "well, which one are you then?"

A midget just groped me.

It was a short squeeze.

Why was the dwarf arrested?

Small arms offenses.

Why do midgets make terrible parents?

They really struggle to put food on the table.

A large man is sitting next to a dwarf in the bus. As the bus breaks for the stop, the dwarf starts sliding off of his seat and the large man puts his arm out and slides him back on to the seat.
This happens again at the next stop, and the stop after that.

Eventually it is time for the large man to get off the bus, he turns and says to the dwarf "You had better hold on tight now, because I am leaving and there won't be anybody to stop you from sliding off the seat."

The dwarf replies to him "Sliding?! I wasn't sliding, I have been trying to get off since 15 minutes ago!"

Roasts and Insults For Short People

You are so short you fell from curb and nearly dies.

You're so short that you can save on rent by living in a dolls house.

You're so short that people can see your feet in your passport photo.

You are so short that you are able to do pushups underneath a closed door.

You're so short that you do backflips underneath the bed.

You're are so short that to exercise you use a staple to do pull ups.

You're so short that you gotta look up when people say look down.

You're so short that when you saw someone had dropped 10 bucks on the ground, you need to use a ladder to pick it up.

You're so short that you make Webster look like a giant.

You are so short that that have to slam dunk your bus money to get it in.

You're so short that when you get angry at people for making fun of you, all you can do is bite their ankles.

You're so short that when you sit on the curb your feet are way off the ground.

You're so short that when you sneeze, your forehead smacks into the floor.

You're so short that you smoked weed for an hour and still couldn't get high.

You're so short that you run circuits around the toilet seat for exercise.

You're so short that michaelangelo could make a life size sculpture of you with 1 can of play-dough.

You're so short that you had to use a toothpick to compete in the javelin.

You're so short that I can't see you behind the last remaining pea on your plate.

You're so short that you should be making toys for santa.

You're so short that you still buy your clothes from pumpkin patch (baby clothing store)

You're so short that everyone looks down on you, literally.

You're so short that you need to put on stilts to drive a car to reach the pedal

Put your hand out to the level of their head and say, "I have had it up to here with you".

We hope that you enjoyed these shoet people roasts and insult jokes. Whether you are dishing them out or having a laugh, remember that good natured humour is always a great way to liven up any gathering. Just make sure that your short friend is also laughing while you are roasting and insulting them about their height!