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Keep Laughing Forever with these Hilarious Giraffe Jokes

(Bookmark us! - we are constantly adding new jokes)

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Giraffes are hard working and make amazing employees. Only problem is their neck ties cost $5000.

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A zoo keeper walks into a bar with his very old pet giraffe.

They have a few drinks and all of a sudden the giraffe drops dead to the floor.

The zoo keeper is upset and goes to leave the bar.

The bartender yells at him "you can leave that lying there"

The zoo keeper replies " that is not a lion, that is a giraffe" and walks out.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Because his head is so far away from his body of course.

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Did you hear about the giraffe that learned karate?

He looked like a god dam idiot.

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What is a giraffes favourite fruit?

Necktarines!

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The worst thing about being a giraffe is vomiting after you drank too much! Ewww

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The worst thing about being a male giraffe is having your neck being the only long part of your body.

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The worst thing about being a giraffe is having a sore throat

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The worst thing about being a giraffe is that your coffee gets cold by the time it reaches your belly.

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The worst thing about being a giraffe is needing 100 Heimlich manouvres when you are choking.

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The worst part about being a giraffe is knowing that once you put on a necklace it is there for life!

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A lion and a giraffe are meeting at the zoo

Lion: "You are late! We said meet at sunset!"

Giraffe: "I can still see the sun you midget"

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What is green and hangs high up from trees.

Giraffe boogers.

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What is the difference between a John Deere tractor and a male giraffe?

One has hydraulics and the other has high bollocks

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Why do you hardly ever hear a giraffe apologising?

It takes them too long to swallow their pride.

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Why did none of the Giraffes friends ever laugh when he told a joke?

It always went over their heads.

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You are riding a Giraffe at full speed, there is a lion right behind you and a horse in front of you, what do you do?

Get off the merry-go-round

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Did you hear about the gentleman who invented a jam made from rhinos and giraffes?

He named it the wildlife preserve.

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Did you know that a Giraffe is able to grow up to 20 feet?

But they usually only just grow 4 of them.

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Did you hear about the 100 metres running race between the ostrich and the giraffe?

It was neck and neck the whole way.

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Why was the Giraffe so well respected at the zoo?

Because everybody looked up to him.

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Once you have seen a lion hunt a giraffe,

You've seen a maul.

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Why wouldn't the barman serve the Giraffe?

It was a tall order

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How did the giraffe get himself a job?

By neckworking.

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One of the seven dwarves kissed a giraffe yesterday.

Apparently the other six dwarves put him up to it.

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Did you hear about the family that went on a safari and saw a giraffe and a meerkat?

That is about the long and short of it.

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What do giraffes have that no other animal has?

Baby giraffes.

 

 

 

 

Why did the Giraffe spend time at the library after school?

Higher studies.

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When a giraffe eats a small snack, a little goes a long way.

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Chuck Norris Fact - Chuck Norris invented giraffes by uppercutting horses.

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If you like Giraffes and find them funny, check out our top ten funny Giraffe video below for some long necked laughs.

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