Keep Laughing Forever With These Dolphin Jokes And Puns

Q: Have you ever tried to cut the fins off a dolphin?

A: It really defeats the porpoise?

I was doing an aquarium tour when we finally arrived at my favourite stop, the dolphins! The dolphins had been split us up into two seperate tanks. In the first dolphin tank they were all frolicking about, playing with balls and doing flips. In the second tank however, the dolphins were training and all swimming around seriously trying to master new tricks.

I asked the guide, "is this tank here for the more serious dolphins?" The guide replied, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

Q: How does a dolphin turn a lady upside down?

A: Flipper.

I find it bizzare that people are all of a sudden really concerned about plastic straws harming dolphins. They have been breaking camels backs for years now.

Scientists are now making the claim that dolphins are second in intelligence to man.

This means that women have dropped down to third place.

Dolphins are so intelligent that if you put them in a library they are able impress a large group of people. Only problem is that it kills them.

What do dolphins use to wash themselves?

Multi porpoise cleaner.

How do dolphins decide who gets the last fish?

Flipper coin.

I met a really cool dolphin the other day.

We didn't have to say much, we just clicked.

Why did the dolphin cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

What happened to the dolphin that decided to leave seaworld and have herself a family out in the ocean?

She was reporpoised.

What do you call a person from Finland who is extremely boring?

A dolphin.

What is the difference between a dolphin and a tuna.

You can't dolphin guitar.

Why was the dolphin in such a bad mood?

He ate too many crabs.

How do dolphins get their daily news and weather updates?

Via podcasts.

This weekend at our local aquarium it only costs a dollar to visit if you are dressed as a dolphin or if you are currently living at the campground.

So for all intents and porpoises it is free.

On the school tour of the aquarium the class arrived at the dolphin tank and the guide stated "a single dolphin has over a hundred offspring". From the back of the group little Johnny pipes up "wow, what about the married ones?"

Why do dolphins enjoy living in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

Q: What happened to Dolphin Cinderella?

A: She lost her glass flipper.

A fisherman was giving directions to a lost dolphin. The dolphin said "can you please be more pacific".

What did the dolphin do when she found out her husband was cheating on her?

She flipped out.

What do dolphins need to stay alive and healthy?

Vitamin Sea

Why are there no dolphin volleyball teams?

They are scared of the net.

Why are dolphins the smartest animals in the world?